By E.A. Briginshaw,
Blind Bay
As some of you are aware, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and is in the middle of her chemotherapy treatments. I am constantly reminded how brave she is and how scared I am. It’s hard to just sit on the sidelines and not do anything to help. In some ways, it parallels the fight against the global pandemic, where many of us are told that the best thing we can do is just stay home. This is a poem about those frustrations. If you prefer to hear me read it, visit YouTube →
I’m scared to death, but it’s not happening to me,
It’s a battle fought in isolation, the world doesn’t get to see,
The ten chairs lined up against the wall, dispensing cocktails and potions,
To kill everything that crosses their path, yet she just takes it, hiding her emotions.
My hair is simply turning grey, but hers is falling out,
It’s just not fair I want to scream, yet it does no good to shout,
This is a war, and she’s on the front lines, in her battle against cancer,
While all of the doctors, nurses and potion-makers, try to come up with the answer.
The pills to fight her nausea, after each session’s chemical infusion,
Her chemo-brain, the constant strain, the fear and the confusion,
She has no energy and she sleeps all the time, yet I’m having trouble sleeping,
We’re afraid to go outside, or touch anyone, without sanitizing everything,
If her world ends, then my world ends, but she’s the one doing all of the fighting,
I’m just the guy waiting in the car, trying to pretend that it’s not all that frightening,
All I can do is drive her to her appointments, I’m getting the best side of this deal,
We can see the light at the end of the tunnel, we hope we’re almost through this ordeal.
With all of the world facing its global shutdown, it’s hard not to think of it all ending,
We’re trying to flatten the curve, buy us more time, for prevention, recovery and mending,
Some battles are fought one patient at a time, some are fought on a global scale,
It’s hard to be told to just wait on the sidelines, and hope that our efforts don’t fail.
The Brave and the Scared,
Copyright © E.A. Briginshaw, 2020
Ernie, how brave you are to expose your personal fears regarding Norma’s cancer. I am sure she is relying heavily on you; receiving your love will keep her strong, not only in her personal journey, but also in what is happening in the World today.
I hope all goes well for her, that she will come through her ordeal healthy and cancer-free.
She is your soul mate.
Ernie,
Your writing is moving. You bring the reader into your world so nicely.
You have to be scared to be brave. I believe that you are both brave.
Thanks for your kind words.