The Writers’ Nook is a place where we, as a group, can provide a safe and positive environment in which to encourage one another and hone our own writing skills.
Words to be heard
Most writers do not think of their words in this way—like words to be heard. To them they are only words to be read, usually silently. If you write, it is to your advantage that you read your work aloud. Let’s hear what you have to say. Here are many reasons why this process can benefit your writing and we will discuss many of them as time goes on.
For this meeting on October 22nd, we encourage you to bring with you something that you have written, so you can read it aloud to us. Let’s say, no longer than about seven minutes each. If you prefer to just come to listen, that’s fine too. Also bring along a notebook and paper or pencil, in case we do a little writing that day.
The meeting will be held from 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. in the Okanagan Regional Library, #1 – 2425 Golf Course Drive in Blind Bay.
The Handout
In working on a handout about reading aloud, here are some Toastmasters Notes. Please download this and print this to bring with you to the meeting. We will read it and discuss during the meeting. It will give us something to think about as we offer feedback to one another.
The Challenge
Before our next meeting on November 12th, write about anything you want, the one prompt I will give you” since we have Remembrance Day coming up write something in a Remembrance Day theme; it could be about war, or peace, soldiers, women’s roles during war, or anything that you think will speak to others.
Responses
(Members, after reading the following responses from your peers, please continue on downward even farther on this page to Comment on them. This is where we provide feedback to one another; this is one of the ways we learn from each other.)
FEAR by Marilyn McAllister
I Dream of Oreo Cookies by Joyce Adrian Sotski
Climate of Fire — Book One, Survival, Chapter Six by Shirley Bigelow DeKelver
Being Dyslexic by Marilyn McAllister
Leviathan II by Marilyn McAllister
FEAR: Marilyn, you are a very spiritual person and you accept the spirituality of people around you as readily as you accept the fact that the sun rises in the east; usually it does. Never think of hiding that spirituality, let it out for the rest of us to see because somewhere inside we are all spiritual and can identify with your words.
I have a suggestion, and I think of Arundhati Roy (The God of Small Things) when I say this because I listened to an interview in which she was asked if she’d made a mistake with something she’d written in the book and her response was very definite, “every word in my book has a purpose and a reason for being there.” When I read your piece it feels to me like spoken wording, rather than written work, which in it’s own way is charming but which could maybe use a touch of editing. I question a few of the words, do they serve a purpose? For example:; the word “actually” (from several careers actually); the word “But” (But as December wore…); and “she didn’t make it home” (could be hadn’t made it home, past temse).
Nit-picking is what I’m doing. I like this story very much, especially the ending. It’s a cliff-hanger!
Survival: Shirley, You are very good at writing action. That’s probably why young adults love your books; you never fail to deliver.
I feel quite hesitant about making suggestions for change on a piece that’s already published but I have a few comments for future. I found myself getting confused by tense, past or present, in a few places; for example I know we’re in the past here, you “knew he wouldn’t hurt you” but suddenly when it says, “there are lots of creepy people,” it’s a bit of a jolt. Sometimes it takes somebody who’s never read the copy before to catch these little nuances.
Another comment would be, what about making the action feel more immediate by using the senses? For example, when you, “crawled on all fours to the entrance,” what did it feel like? Was the cement slippery from moisture buildup, was there gravel in there that hurt your knees, or was it like dried grass and creepy things? And when that dark shadow landed on top of you, was it soft and fleshy, or boney, and did it knock the wind out of you when you landed on your back, did it stay on top of you or roll off. What did it smell like?
But all in all, you’re doing good! We’d all love to be so successful. You’re doing good. And what a lot of work it must be to edit and make perfect a whole novel!
Joyce, thanks for the feedback. I appreciate your comments on using past and present tense, at times I found it difficult to incorporate them at the right time. It’s a difficult task when there is a lot of action in your story.
Your comment about incorporating more action and feelings, I had included later in the chapter (that’s what happens when you read only a few paragraphs in a chapter). One of the first suggestions my editor had for me when I first started writing my trilogy was to do exactly that, show your protagonist’s feelings, thoughts and senses. I took special care in doing just that when I wrote TREACHERY.
Survival. Shirley I love the suspense. The quick action trying to survive, and the background of climate change was also adding suspense and anxiety to the scene.
Thanks Marilyn, I appreciate your feedback.
Oreo cookies. Joyce your story reads like a long metaphor to me. Very imaginative and very descriptive language.
Being Dyslexic: Marilyn, this strays a little from your normal creative style; but well said. It’s clear cut, informative, and I think almost everyone who reads it will learn a thing or two. Even more importantly, I think that anyone who fears being dyslexic or has a child that is, would find comfort and inspiration in your words. A lesson to all of us who try to hide from others, some personal issue we may have. Well done.
FEAR: Marilyn, you managed to write a short story in less than a page, a difficult task indeed. The ending incorporating suspense made it a winner. Well done.
I DREAM OF OREO COOKIES. Joyce, your short story was thought-provoking and humorous. You have a talent with words, and I visualized you eating two Oreo cookies, waiting to be heard. Now you have received your two compliments.
Leviathan II: Marilyn, a touching story of a freak accident and disaster; softened by the healing touches and ceremony of the elders. It’s good to put this into writing, so the rest of us can see too. You’ve written this very well. Thank you.