The Writers’ Nook is a place where we, as a group, can provide a safe and positive environment in which to encourage one another and hone our own writing skills.
Our Theme for this meeting is Our Hero’s Emotional Journey. This is our first meeting via Zoom technology. Our last meeting scheduled for March 10, 2019 was cancelled due to Covid-19.
TO PREPARE for this meeting, please download, print and read this handout, Our Hero’s Emotional Journey. Bring it with you to the meeting; it is our discussion topic for this November 11th meeting. The Handout also includes our next Challenge which is due before our next meeting on November 25th.
The Challenge: was to write a short story, poem or article before the November 25th meeting that not only outlines the story, but also enlightens us as to your Hero’s Emotional Inner Journey — it might be interesting to revamp one of your own stories from a previous meeting. If instead of participating in the Challenge, you prefer to share something else that you’ve written, feel free to do so. (Contact us and we’ll tell you where to send it.)
The purpose of posting your work here is to receive feedback from others. You are encouraged to read the work of the other participants and provide your feedback in the same manner that you wish for others to respond to your work. Use the Leave a Reply form below.
PREVIOUS MEETING: February 25, 2019 (pre-covid)
Our Challenge: Write a story or poem using some internal dialogue. Visit the photographs on this page for inspiration if you wish — or make the story based on your own ideas. Please send a pdf copy.
Responses to The Challenge: See below, please read and provide your feedback to the writers in the “Reply Section,” SEE BELOW. We will no longer provide feedback at the meetings.
An excerpt from a chapter titled Mid-Life Crisis in “The Back Nine” by Ernie Briginshaw.
Max’s Choice using internal dialogue by Shirley DeKelver.
Amber Days using internal dialogue by Shirley DeKelver.
Guardian Angels a poem I wrote a few years back using something similar to internal dialogue by Joyce Adrian Sotski.
Internal Dialogue assignment by Dulcie Enns.
A Bad Day using internal dialogue by Joyce Adrian Sotski.
The Virus using internal dialogue by Marilyn McAllister.
It’s Friday using internal dialogue by Karen Bissenden
SEE FEEDBACK AND THOUGHTS BELOW:
You are encouraged to provide feedback of your own.
Ernie, Mid-Life Crisis: I think your internal dialogue is very effective in this piece. I can literally feel Cheech’s dismay at his own actions. It helps your story not only by revealing Cheech’s self-perceptions but also reflects his internal dismay at Patti’s responses. Poor Cheech, he’s so hard on himself.
Shirley, Max’s Choice: I liked this action-packed story but I became confused a few times. It started when his ‘incessant dream materialized’ — and I wasn’t sure if I was reading about his incessant dream, or if I was entering the story of his life. I thought the internal dialogue was appropriate throughout but wondered if “She so beautiful, how I wish I could talk to her.” would have been stronger as “You’re so beautiful; wish I could talk to you.” I like your descriptions: the day, the clouds, the mist…
Shirley, Amber Days: A nice little story and the internal dialogue was well done. I wasn’t quite sure in the internal dialogue “Lord, don’t we have enough troubles, without you adding to them?” — whom is the internal dialogue addressing? Who is ‘you’? Does ‘you’ refer to “The Lord” or the “bitter wind”? A nice gentle ending that left me with the feeling of real life — the work is never done, that’s life.
Dulcie, At the Airport: I loved your description of the airport, touching and so true! I enjoyed the internal dialogue, it worked. I cannot think of anything to suggest that would make this a better piece; it’s very well done.
Marilyn, The Virus: I hear you. Your internal voice is right on track for depicting ‘us Moms’; we never stop worrying. Well done, and timely.
Karen, It’s Friday: I enjoyed your story. They suggest that a person should put the internal dialogue into italics to differentiate it from the rest of the paragraph and I’ve wondered about that. I see you didn’t italicize it and I like it that way too. It reads well to my way of thinking. Why does the reader need to be told that this is internal dialogue, especially when you’ve written the whole thing in the first person? I think it works well this way. Perhaps it’s also because it’s written in the present tense, just like the internal dialogue, that it all reads so smoothly even without italics. What do the rest of you think?
I was taught to use italics for internal dialogue to distinguish it from regular dialogue. I think it works most effectively when there is a distinct difference between what I want to say versus what I actually say. For example, if someone says something stupid and offensive to me, my internal dialogue might say You idiot!, whereas I might say out loud “I respectfully disagree.”
Marilyn, I’m not sure if my reply showed up…hhm. But in any case, the out loud okay and the internal it may not be is a common, sorry guys, mother/daughter relationship echo. Everyone worries about the ones they love, but the message was clear.
Joyce, Guardian Angels is a punch in the gut. The swirl of emotions and questions leaves me, at the end without an answer, as does the writer/narrator. I move from verse to verse waiting for something to resolve and there’s no actual resolution except that constant searching brought him home. The hero therefore won, but the condition remains. The problem in society remains. The constant flipping from real to “unreal” is accurately disconcerting.
Karen, your comments are heartbreaking. Thank you for understanding.
Part of my reasoning for posting this poem is that although this is not ‘inner narrative’ all of the italicized pieces are almost like ‘outer narrative.’ They are all responses from the ‘outside’ to the questions asked by the narrator. Does it work, in your opinion? Anybody?
Joyce, I love your poem, but I’m not sure it’s really an example of internal dialogue. However, italics can be used in writing in a variety of fashions (e.g. to emphasize words, to show dreams versus reality, etc.). I really like how you used the italics in the first part of your poem, where the narrator is asking questions and the answers are shown in italics. The answers are not the ones the narrator wants to hear, but they are the ones he receives. I think the technique becomes less effective at the end of the poem.